It's time for another entry in my Covid Diaries. (For my official "covid diaries," see here; here; here; here;here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here, here; here; here, here; here; here; here; and here). Finally, I can report some modest, good news. Without any evident explanation, I suddenly improved greatly from the start of August onward. I found swimming enjoyable again, my writing picked up, and I had the impression I was becoming less noise sensitive. I went to the opera at Glyndebourne with my better half. (That's annual tradition for us, but she went without me earlier in the year.) It's a long drive in both directions, but we decided to try it because intermission is a leisurely picnic. I adored it, and except for a few minutes while the orchestra was tuning and the audience buzzing with anticipation at the start of the second act, which triggered my noise sensitivity, it was marvelous. (Well, I loved the music and the performances, but the production was awful.) More recently, I attended a department (management) meeting for ninety minutes, and have even ventured out to enjoy lunch and coffee in outdoor terraces. So, I am participating in life more fully again!
Long covid is a roller-coaster -- 'coaster corona' -- with changing symptoms and often false starts and sudden setbacks. But this past month feels qualitatively different. I started using anti-inflammatories (basically extra strength Aleve) a few months ago, and I finally have figured out when to use them and what the so-called minimally effective dosage is in order to prevent the weird head fatigue and headaches. In the Spring I was averaging about six headache days per months and now it's really zero. (I do sometimes get headaches in the middle of the night, but with meditation and melatonin I tend to sleep those off.) And as the first paragraph indicates, I have grown bolder trying to manage meetings or conversations without meds and being alert to the onset of symptoms.
The other big news is that since yesterday I am formally off Dutch disability (and so '100% healthy' again)! [I wondered if I should put a sly reference to that info into yesterday's digression!] My occupational physician and I were working towards this decision for about a half year now. Incrementally reducing my 'disability percentage.' The decision became much easier once I had a Fall research leave Stateside lined up (thank you family, Duke, Arizona, and department!), and the sudden improvement this past month. It also helps that my spring teaching is relatively light: only one massive lecture course I have taught before. (I basically cased in a year and half of "over-hours.'') So, the real 'work test' will only occur Fall 2023, a year from now, when I have to start teaching a full load again, including discussion heavy seminars (which was so difficult last Fall).
I am by no means recovered to where I was in all kinds of un-expected ways, but I do sincerely expect that I can actually do most of the activities expected from me in my position. After ''good enough parenting" this should be "good enough professing" (GEP)! Hopefully by this time next year I have continued to improve, and so I can be confident about being a solid GEP.
Earlier in the month, Shelley Tremain published an interview with me (big reveal!) at Biopolitical Philosophy here. I mention it because, due to space constraints, we had to cut a paragraph that, after the fact, I thought rather important. During the interview I explain how much my chronic illness prevents me from participating in professional activities and triggers a withdrawal from the world. But I added a qualification. Here's the paragraph we cut:
I don’t mean to suggest my life is primarily an adjustment to limitations by narrowing the range of activity. While that’s undoubtedly true – I have had to give up on lots of activities, especially social ones. But it’s also opened up new ones. I had to give up cycling around Amsterdam (because I am native born that’s really a second nature there). I started to walk to work or to the supermarket. And on foot one moves so more slowly that one really has time to take in the astonishing beauty, even sublimity of the place. Because my agenda was much less cluttered, I would also work with time to enjoy my surroundings. I started to take pictures of my walks on my mobile phone; and I found that these, in turn, connected me with all kinds of people; amateur photographers, folks that share my aesthetic, old friends, etc. And it's been such a thrill that amidst non-trivial solitude I felt a sense of community.
That seems like a good place to end this post.
Comments