The Long Haul Glass is half full (knock on timber)

12/04/2021

The Long Haul Glass is half full (knock on timber)

It's time for a long haul covid update again. (For my "covid diaries," see here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; and here). It's a nicer one to write because, despite a gloomy ending, I do have a lot more positive news to report.

1. So a few weeks ago, I had my first meeting with an occupational therapist. I may have mentioned that I find her theories silly, but there is nothing wrong with her practical insights. She made me do five day of diaries (by thirty minute intervals), and I was shown that I multitask a lot. And that a lot of things count as multi-tasking which were not intuitively multitasking to me: like walking and talking, like walking and listening to music, cooking and listening to music, writing and listening to music, etc.

2. So, I have made a lot of relatively minor behavioral adjustments all in the spirit of reducing what I call soft multi-tasking. Including some adjustments designed to relax before going to sleep (e.g., turning off my phone 30 minutes before lights out; no watching of netflix/football (etc.) before I go to sleep, etc.). I sleep much better, especially if I manage to go to bed relatively early. (I still need melatonin, alas.)

3. To my amazement, my headaches, nausea, and most of my sudden bouts of fatigue have largely disappeared. (I'll get to the *MAJOR* exception below.) So, my quality of life has improved dramatically again because I am not really suffering much day to day. And in many ways I feel like I did near the end of July, when I was confident I would recover before long.

4. Some of my symptoms (dizziness, tinnitus, and ear problems) have been tackled by my (fantastic!) new ENT physician. These problems were all eliminated by her aggressive treatment. However, a hearing test on Thursday revealed that, in fact, I do have reduced hearing loss (something I had suspected all year), but in my right ear only. Extra testing revealed the problems are due to my eardrum and not any of the nerves or structures behind the eardrum. This is very good news because it suggests it's reversible and (presumably) unrelated to Covid. My ENT thinks it's due to my chronic sinusitis. (Something diagnosed about five or six years ago.) She has started me on a whole battery of tests to get to the bottom of the chronic sinusitis and to try treat it (so hopefully I have better hearing and better quality of life to hope for). These tests will be completed by the end of January, so this will be a major subtext going forward.

5. My Dutch GP (the junior partner of my longstanding GP) has become pro-active in helping me navigate the health options in Dutch context. She has invested time and energy to research different options and has coached me in dealing with recalcitrant specialists, and answering my questions. It really helps to have her in my corner. It also helps that the practice has a very good patient dossier system that allows for low key interaction with the GPs.

6. With some holiday and a month of no teaching coming up, I am optimistic about recovering more. This optimism is also due to the fact that with my ears recovered I can return to my swimming exercise, which is physically and psychologically a major boost.

Okay so much for the good news.

There is still bad news:

1. Social interactions still destroy me; I quickly get fatigued, headaches, and irritability after even minor conversations.

2. Since I mostly avoid social interactions, teaching and hospital/physician visits are the major trigger of these problems. Often adrenaline takes me through the actual class or the visit but the aftermath is brutal (fatigue, headaches, etc.). My occupational therapist claims she can help me with this, and our next meeting is all about strategies for improving my social endurance. (I will just ignore her theories.) So, hopefully she is as successful with this as she is with my multi-tasking issues.

3. All of this (1-2) has led my occupational physician to cut my teaching load (and my salary) for next semester again. (I agreed.) I am very sad not to teach my inaugural feminist philosophy class, but my large lecture course is shorter and easier for me (despite the gigantic enrollments--we're expecting over 600 students.) This will leave me more time to recover from teaching, and also to spend more time with my family.

4. Having said that, while the aftermath of social interaction is still brutal, it's also clear that I am recovering quicker than before. And that's clearly because now when I think I am relaxing, I am really doing a better job of actually relaxing.

5. I had to miss my son's 12th birthday. Because I am in no position to do quick return trips between London and Amsterdam. I shared in some of the fun through social media (which I also find taxing), and it's not the same thing.

7. I know a lot of you want to cheer me on (thank you), and kind of try to spin things positively on my behalf. Well, this week the glass is half full.