It's about three weeks ago that I view as a turning point in my not quite completed recovery from covid. (For earlier installments in the series, see here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; here; and here). Since then I lead a more active and social life. I walk about five miles a day. I try to write three days a week for about five to six hours a day on my quixotic Foucault and the liberal art of government project. At the end of each week, I am pleasantly surprised how much progress I have made. But I don't trust my own judgment yet whether this is professionally interesting or just a weird form of delusional auto-cognitive-therapy.
I am more pro-active in reaching out to family by phone. I am less noise sensitive than I had been most of the year. We do family dinners again, and I find that when other people put on music I don't run away anymore. Last week I went to my son's school play, and enjoyed most of it. While my reading is still light, I did referee two papers this past month.
A propos of nothing. I read Ursula Le Guin's early novels: Rocannon's World and Planet of Exile in reverse order. They are both part of the Hainish universe. Planet of Exile was a bit disappointing, although in a weird way reassuring that her genius and wisdom was not fully formed at once. In re-reading Rocannon's World, I could see when in my first reading I had quit. I am glad that I gave it a second chance: it's a beautiful homage to Tolkien, and simultaneously a powerful meditation on the what it's like to be in the service of empire in the name of science and humanity. Since I had recently read Mill's (1859) "Few Words on Nonintervention," (as part of my liberal art of government project), Le Guin's wisdom really shined for me.
So, at first sight I seem recovered. And I am enjoying the mental space that for the first time in several decades I am free from deadlines and other commitments. I especially enjoy the privilege to ignore emails. My university does not have sabbaticals, so I imagine this is the headspace I have always imagined sabbaticals to be like. Of course, in a sabbatical I would try to write and read much more and more intensely.
Most of the obvious symptoms of Covid have disappeared: I sleep much better. Even so, while I feel much improved and optimistic again, there are some signs that not all is well yet. First, thirty to forty-five minutes is my limit of multi-person zoom. (I can lengthen that a bit if I close my eyes and treat it like a radio-show.) At that point I start to fatigue and irritability creeps into my demeanor. Yesterday, I went to a delightful and small dinner-party (of five adults and two kids). After about an hour I started to fade. This fatigue can slide into modest temporary headaches (although nothing like what I experienced earlier in the year).
Second, I still have weird memory issues where I seem to have missed parts of conversations. I mangle words, and I can't recall names of people and events. Because my life is so simple at the moment, and I am so visibly improving, it's not especially disconcerting.
Meanwhile I am still waiting for my appointment at the long haul clinic. Given my ongoing symptoms the perspective if a neurologist might be useful, although the neurologists I know all caution me not to expect much. Every week I check on cancelations, so far to no avail.
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